Ashley Jangro, LPCC • 7 min read • Teen Support
As a parent, you know your teenager better than anyone. You've watched them grow, celebrated their victories, and worried through their struggles. But adolescence brings new challenges, and sometimes it's hard to know when typical teenage turbulence has crossed into something that needs professional support.
Hi, I'm Ashley Jangro, therapist and part of a blended family with six kids (five of them teenagers). I see this question in parents' eyes all the time: "Is this normal teen stuff, or should I be worried?" The answer isn't always clear-cut, but there are some important signs to look for.
The Challenge of "Normal" Teen Behavior
Adolescence is inherently turbulent. Your teen's brain is undergoing massive reconstruction, their hormones are fluctuating wildly, and they're trying to figure out who they are separate from you. Some degree of mood swings, risk-taking, and emotional intensity is completely normal.
But when does normal teenage behavior become something more concerning? The key is looking at patterns, intensity, and impact on daily functioning.
Red Flags: When Teen Behavior Becomes Concerning
Consider professional help if you notice these patterns:
🚨 Emotional & Behavioral Changes
- • Persistent sadness or hopelessness lasting more than two weeks
- • Extreme mood swings that seem disproportionate to triggers
- • Loss of interest in activities they previously enjoyed
- • Sudden, dramatic personality changes
- • Increased aggression, irritability, or explosive anger
- • Withdrawal from family and friends for extended periods
⚠️ Functional Impairment
- • Significant drop in academic performance
- • Changes in sleep patterns (sleeping too much/too little)
- • Appetite changes or concerning eating behaviors
- • Difficulty maintaining friendships or social connections
- • Inability to handle daily responsibilities
- • Frequent physical complaints without medical cause
🆘 Immediate Concerns - Seek Help Right Away
- • Any mention of suicide, death, or "not wanting to be here"
- • Self-harm behaviors (cutting, burning, hitting themselves)
- • Substance abuse or risky behaviors that could cause harm
- • Psychotic symptoms (hearing voices, paranoia, delusions)
- • Eating disorder behaviors that impact physical health
If you notice any of these signs, don't wait. Contact a mental health professional immediately or call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
The Gray Area: When You're Not Sure
Often, the decision isn't black and white. Your teen might be struggling but not showing clear red flags. Here are some questions to help you assess:
Ask Yourself:
Duration & Pattern
How long have you been concerned? Are these behaviors new or worsening? Ongoing concerns for more than 2-3 weeks warrant attention.
Impact on Life
Are these behaviors affecting school, friendships, family relationships, or their ability to function day-to-day?
Your Parental Instinct
You know your child. If something feels "off" and you can't shake the worry, trust that instinct.
Response to Support
When you try to offer support, connect, or address concerns, how does your teen respond? Complete shutdown or inability to engage might indicate need for outside help.
Common Teenage Struggles That Benefit from Professional Support
😰 Anxiety That Interferes
When worry prevents your teen from participating in school, social activities, or normal teenage experiences.
- • School avoidance or refusal
- • Social isolation due to anxiety
- • Panic attacks
- • Perfectionism that causes distress
😔 Depression Signs
When sadness becomes persistent and affects their ability to enjoy life or function normally.
- • Loss of interest in everything
- • Persistent fatigue or low energy
- • Changes in appetite or weight
- • Difficulty concentrating
🎭 Identity & Self-Worth Struggles
When identity exploration becomes self-destructive or leads to persistent feelings of worthlessness.
- • Constant negative self-talk
- • Body image issues
- • Extreme people-pleasing
- • Feeling like they don't fit anywhere
🏠 Family Relationship Breakdown
When normal teenage rebellion escalates to complete communication breakdown or explosive conflicts.
- • Constant, intense conflicts
- • Complete communication shutdown
- • Disrespect that goes beyond normal limits
- • Family stress affecting everyone
How to Approach Your Teen About Therapy
Once you've decided professional help might be beneficial, approaching your teen requires sensitivity and strategy.
Effective Approaches:
1. Lead with Love and Concern
"I've noticed you seem to be struggling with [specific observations]. I care about you and want to make sure you have all the support you need."
Avoid: "You need therapy because you're acting crazy."
2. Emphasize Their Expertise on Their Own Life
"You know yourself better than anyone. Sometimes it helps to have a neutral person to talk through things with who's trained to help teens navigate challenges."
3. Address Stigma Head-On
"Therapy isn't about being broken or crazy. It's like having a personal trainer for your emotional health. Even the strongest people benefit from professional support."
4. Offer Choice and Control
"Would you prefer to meet with someone in person or online? Male or female therapist? We can find someone you feel comfortable with."
What to Expect from Teen Therapy
Understanding what teen therapy looks like can help both you and your teen feel more comfortable with the process.
What Therapy Provides:
- • A neutral, safe space to process feelings
- • Skills for managing difficult emotions
- • Understanding of their developing brain and emotions
- • Tools for better communication
- • Support for identity development
- • Strategies for handling peer and academic pressure
Your Role as a Parent:
- • Support their commitment to the process
- • Respect their privacy (therapy is confidential)
- • Be open to family sessions if recommended
- • Stay involved in their overall wellbeing
- • Be patient - change takes time
- • Consider your own support if needed
Special Considerations for Teen Therapy
Teen therapy has unique aspects that differ from adult therapy. Understanding these can help set appropriate expectations.
Confidentiality
Therapy sessions are confidential, which means your teen can share things with their therapist that they might not share with you. This is important for building trust and encouraging openness. Therapists will only break confidentiality if there's immediate danger.
Resistance is Normal
Many teens initially resist therapy. This doesn't mean they don't need it or that it won't work. A skilled teen therapist knows how to work with resistance and build rapport over time.
Different Approaches
Teen therapy often looks different from adult therapy. It might involve games, art, movement, or even innovative approaches like Minecraft therapy for teens who connect better through gaming environments.
Trust Your Parental Instincts
As someone who works with both teens and parents, I want you to know: it's better to seek support too early than too late. Mental health support during adolescence can prevent small struggles from becoming bigger problems and can give your teen tools they'll use for the rest of their lives.
Remember: Seeking therapy for your teen isn't a sign that you've failed as a parent. It's a sign that you love your child enough to get them the support they need.
Adolescence is one of the most challenging times in human development. Your teen is navigating identity, relationships, academic pressure, and a changing world, all while their brain is still developing. Professional support during this critical time can make all the difference.
When Family Support Makes the Difference
Sometimes the most effective approach combines individual teen therapy with family support. This might include parent coaching to help you navigate this challenging time, or occasional family sessions to improve communication and understanding.
Family-Integrated Support Can Help With:
- • Improving communication between you and your teen
- • Understanding your teen's developmental needs
- • Managing your own stress and emotions as a parent
- • Creating a more supportive home environment
- • Learning when to step in vs. when to step back
- • Building stronger family connections
Supporting Your Teen's Mental Health
Concerned about your teen? Trust your instincts. Professional support can provide the tools and perspective both you and your teen need during this challenging time.
Want to understand teen development better? Learn about innovative approaches like TherapyCraft and how family support can make therapy more effective.
Ashley Jangro, LPCC
Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate specializing in teen and family therapy. Based in Castle Rock, Colorado, Ashley is part of a blended family with six kids (five teenagers) and understands both the clinical and personal sides of supporting teens through challenging times.