Ashley Jangro, LPCC • 8 min read • Mental Health & Emotional Regulation
I used to be an incredibly reactive person.
I genuinely believed I was at the mercy of my emotions—like I was fighting an internal war against a tyrannical master. (Okay, dramatic… but honestly, that's how it felt.)
I thought emotions were just "informing" me of some kind of truth. If I felt anger, I assumed someone had wronged me. If my brain offered the thought, "They don't respect me," I took it as fact and let that thought drive my actions.
This got me a life of chaos. I felt out of control. I felt powerless.
And so many of you reading this, so many of the clients who sit across from me in therapy, feel the same way. But you don't have to stay stuck here. There is a way out.
A way to change your experience—not just in the moment, but long term. A way to retrain your brain to feel steady instead of on edge. A way to stop reacting from fear and start responding with confidence and clarity.
It feels like magic. It feels like a superpower.
Because when you learn to:
- Notice what's happening inside you
- Regulate your emotions
- Challenge the stories in your head
- And choose your next step intentionally…
You create a completely different experience. A different day and a different life.
Let me show you how.
I call it the AERO Method, and it's the foundation of how I help people go from reactive and overwhelmed to calm, grounded, and in control even when life is anything but calm.
Why Emotional Overwhelm Isn't About Willpower
When emotions run high, your nervous system kicks into survival mode. This is the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. It's automatic, it's fast, and it bypasses logic entirely.
That's why you can know you're safe, or know you're being irrational, and still feel completely hijacked by your emotions.
The solution isn't to power through or pretend you're fine. The solution is to work with your body and your brain to create a new default response over time.
That's where AERO comes in.
The AERO Method: 4 Steps to Regulate Emotions and Reclaim Control
This isn't about suppressing emotions. It's about slowing down enough to meet them with awareness, skill, and intention. This is the method I teach in my work. Again, it's called AERO (like arrow), and while you don't need to remember the acronym, you'll never forget what it unlocks.
AAwareness: Notice What You Feel Without Judgment
Start here. Always.
Notice your body:
- • Are your shoulders tense? Is your jaw tight?
- • Are you holding your breath? Breathing fast?
- • What physical sensations are present?
Notice your mind:
- • Is your mind spiraling, replaying something over and over?
- • What thoughts are on repeat?
Notice your context:
- • Are you overtired? Hungry? Hormonal?
- • What else might be influencing how you feel right now?
All of these physical states affect your emotional state, and vice versa.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is just notice. Not fix. Not analyze. Just observe.
Remember: how you feel isn't just about this moment. Your past experiences and conditioning are always in the background, influencing your emotional reactions. The goal here is to cultivate self-awareness, to become the kind of person who notices without judgment. This is a skill that needs to be practiced in order for it to become default. But it is life changing. It's worth taking the time to practice!
EEmotional Regulation: Ride the Wave Without Getting Pulled Under
Once you've noticed what's happening, your job is to regulate (not suppress, not avoid).
Start simple:
- • Name one emotion (just one emotion word. Not a sentence.)
- • Breathe into it
- • Soften your muscles
- • Extend your exhale
This helps reverse the fight-or-flight response and signals safety to your body.
You don't need to fix the emotion, you're just allowing it to exist in your body. In the moment, you're getting calm. But long term you are retraining your brain that this intense emotion is not dangerous.
Want more support with this step? Check out my STOP and NAP methods for additional emotional regulation tools. You can find them in the Steady Within Toolkit.
RReframing: Shift the Story That's Fueling the Feeling
Emotions are created from our thoughts. Our thoughts are just sentences in our brain that we've thought over and over, so they begin sounding true to us. Those thoughts tend to sound something like:
- "I can't handle this"
- "No one respects me"
- "I'm failing as a parent"
- "They don't care about me"
I want you to remember that this thought, this sentence, is NOT true. It is just one of an infinite number of possible things you could possibly think about any given situation.
To challenge the thought and explore other possible narratives, ask yourself:
- • Is that thought 100% true? Can I be sure?
- • Do I like who I become when I believe it?
- • Who would I be without that story?
- • How would I show up instead?
Reframing isn't about tricking yourself into toxic positivity. It's about gently and compassionately challenging the thought until it doesn't feel so true anymore, and then deliberately choosing thoughts that help you move forward, not ones that keep you stuck.
OOwnership: Choose What to Do From a Grounded Place
Once you've regulated and reframed, you have the opportunity to choose a new narrative. But you are doing this from a grounded place, not from fight, flight, or fawn. You get to choose the path you want to take forward.
Ask yourself:
- • What outcome do I want here?
- • What matters most to me at this moment?
- • Do I like how I'm showing up?
- • If not, how do I want to show up?
- • What would I need to believe or think in order to act that way?
This is how you move from reactive to intentional. From chaos to calm. From emotional overwhelm to emotional leadership.
AERO is a Powerful Way to Regulate in the Moment, But it is also Long Term Brain Retraining
Using AERO is helpful in the moment to help you feel calm and grounded. When you practice it consistently, you are also gaining long term benefits.
Each time you pause instead of react… Each time you name instead of numb… Each time you regulate instead of rage…
…you teach your brain and body that emotions are safe.
Over time, your baseline changes. You become someone who doesn't get swept away so easily. Someone who trusts herself. You begin to be in control. Someone who shows up with calm, clarity, and confidence, even when life is hard.
I promise, this skill is like a superpower! You can expect:
- •Your relationships will improve
- •Your sense of self-worth deepens
- •Your confidence grows
- •People around you feel safer and more settled too
This is the long game. It's so worth it.
Imagine for a moment that you have control over your emotions. That you approach situations with calm and confidence. When you are capable of handling any emotion (because you have the tools with AERO), you can truly do anything.
You Don't Have to Figure This Out Alone
You likely never learned these tools growing up. I didn't learn them until I was in my 40s. Once I had a handle on how to manage my emotions and challenge my thoughts, everything in my life changed for the better.
If you're ready to feel more steady, more in control, and more like the version of yourself you know is in there, I'd love to help.
Ready to Transform Your Emotional Landscape?
Ready to dive deeper? Start with my free Steady Within Method Download (it includes practical tools to help you implement the AERO method in your daily life).
Want personalized support? Book a free consult call to explore how we can work together to transform your emotional landscape.
Ashley Jangro, LPCC
Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate specializing in anxiety, trauma, and emotional regulation. Based in Castle Rock, Colorado, Ashley helps individuals develop practical tools for managing emotions and creating lasting change through evidence-based approaches and somatic therapy techniques.