Ashley Jangro, LPCC • Castle Rock Therapist & Life Coach • 7 min read
Most people live their entire lives on autopilot.
They react to their emotions without ever really noticing them. They follow thought patterns without questioning them. They operate from old conditioning without awareness that there might be another way.
I lived like this for decades. Reactive. Defensive. Controlled by whatever emotion showed up.
Then I learned something that changed everything: You cannot regulate what you do not notice.
Awareness is not just the first step of emotional regulation. It is the foundation of everything.
Without awareness, you are just a passenger in your own life, tossed around by whatever your nervous system decides to do next.
Why Most People Skip This Step (And Why That Keeps Them Stuck)
Awareness feels too simple. Too basic. People want the advanced techniques, the quick fixes, the five-step formula to never feel bad again.
But here is the truth: if you skip awareness and jump straight to trying to fix or change your emotions, you are just layering new coping strategies on top of old reactivity.
It is like trying to steer a car while blindfolded. You might get lucky occasionally, but mostly you are going to crash.
Awareness gives you the steering wheel back. It gives you choice. And choice is where freedom lives.
What Awareness Actually Means (It is Not What You Think)
Awareness is not analyzing. It is not overthinking. It is not spiraling into your thoughts.
Awareness is noticing. That is it.
Noticing what is happening in your body. Noticing what thoughts are running through your mind. Noticing the context you are in.
And—this is critical—noticing without judgment.
The Three Layers of Awareness
1. Notice Your Body
Your body is always giving you information. Most people just do not listen.
- • Are your shoulders up by your ears?
- • Is your jaw clenched?
- • Are you holding your breath or breathing shallow?
- • Is your stomach tight? Your chest heavy?
- • Where do you feel tension, tightness, or discomfort?
You are not trying to fix any of this. Just notice it. Name it. "My shoulders are tense. My breath is shallow."
2. Notice Your Mind
Your thoughts are not facts. They are just sentences your brain offers you. But when you are not aware of them, they run the show.
- • What thought keeps repeating?
- • Is your mind spiraling, replaying something over and over?
- • What story are you telling yourself right now?
- • Is there a judgment you are making about yourself or someone else?
Again, do not try to change the thought yet. Just notice it. "I'm thinking they don't respect me. I'm thinking I'm failing."
3. Notice Your Context
Your emotional state does not exist in a vacuum. Your context matters more than you think.
- • Are you hungry? Tired? Hormonal?
- • Did you skip breakfast? Stay up too late?
- • Are you overstimulated? Understimulated?
- • What else is happening in your life right now that might be affecting you?
Sometimes the "emotional crisis" is actually just low blood sugar and sleep deprivation. Awareness helps you see that.
The Power of Non-Judgmental Noticing
Here is where most people get stuck: they notice something and immediately judge it.
"My shoulders are tense. What is wrong with me? Why can I never just relax?"
"I'm thinking they don't respect me. I shouldn't think that. I'm being so judgmental."
The judgment shuts down awareness. It turns observation into self-attack.
Non-judgmental noticing sounds like this:
"My shoulders are tense." (Period. Full stop.)
"I'm thinking they don't respect me." (Just a fact. No story about what that means.)
"I'm feeling anxious." (Just naming it, not making it mean something about you.)
This is harder than it sounds. Your brain wants to jump to conclusions, to fix, to explain, to judge.
Your job is to gently redirect back to just noticing. Over and over. This is the practice.
Awareness Creates Space Between Stimulus and Response
When you are not aware, your life looks like this:
Trigger → Automatic Reaction → Regret
Your teenager rolls their eyes. You snap at them. You feel terrible later.
Your partner seems distant. You withdraw and shut down. You create more distance.
Your boss gives feedback. You spiral into "I'm going to get fired." You cannot focus for the rest of the day.
But when you practice awareness, something shifts:
Trigger → Awareness → Space → Choice → Intentional Response
Your teenager rolls their eyes. You notice the heat rising in your chest. You notice the thought "they don't respect me." You pause. You have a choice.
That pause—that space—is where your power lives.
Awareness is what creates the pause. And the pause is what creates the possibility for a different outcome.
How to Practice Awareness (Without Adding One More Thing to Your To-Do List)
You do not need to meditate for an hour or sit in silence to build awareness. You just need to bring attention to moments throughout your day.
Morning Check-In (2 minutes)
Before you get out of bed, scan your body. Notice where you feel tense or relaxed. Notice what thoughts are already running. No fixing. Just noticing.
Red Light Practice
Every time you stop at a red light, take three deep breaths and notice: How does my body feel right now? What am I thinking about? Am I tense or relaxed?
Emotional Moment Awareness
When you feel a strong emotion, pause for just 10 seconds. Name the emotion. Notice where you feel it in your body. Notice what thought triggered it. That is it.
Evening Reflection (3 minutes)
Before bed, think of one moment from the day. What did you feel? What did you think? What did you notice about your body? Practice observing yourself like a scientist, not a judge.
What Changes When You Build Awareness
At first, awareness can feel uncomfortable. You start noticing how often you are tense, how harsh your thoughts are, how much you are operating on autopilot.
This is normal. This is good. You cannot change what you cannot see.
But as you keep practicing, something shifts. You start catching yourself earlier. You notice the tension before it becomes a full-body clench. You notice the thought before it spirals into a story.
You will notice:
- •You snap less often because you catch the irritation before it explodes
- •You spiral less because you notice the first loop of the thought pattern
- •You make better decisions because you are aware of what is actually driving them
- •You trust yourself more because you know what is happening inside you
Awareness is Not the End Goal. It is the Beginning.
Awareness alone will not solve all your problems. You still need to regulate your emotions (the E in AERO). You still need to challenge your thoughts (the R in AERO). You still need to take intentional action (the O in AERO).
But none of those steps work without awareness first.
Awareness is the foundation. It is the skill that makes every other skill possible.
So start here. Just notice. Notice your body. Notice your thoughts. Notice your context.
Do not try to fix anything yet. Do not judge what you find. Just practice seeing yourself clearly.
Everything else builds from here.
Ready to Build Life-Changing Awareness?
Want personalized support? I help clients develop the kind of self-awareness that actually transforms their emotional life—not just understanding themselves, but changing how they show up.
Ready for the complete system? Awareness is just step one. Learn the full AERO Method to go from reactive to intentional.
Ashley Jangro, LPCC
Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate specializing in anxiety, trauma, and emotional regulation. Based in Castle Rock, Colorado, Ashley helps individuals develop practical tools for managing emotions and creating lasting change through evidence-based approaches and somatic therapy techniques.
