Ashley Jangro, LPCC • 8 min read • Trauma Healing
When most people hear the word "trauma," they think of dramatic, life-threatening events. Car accidents. Natural disasters. Combat. But the truth is, trauma is much more common and much more subtle than most of us realize.
In my work as a therapist, I see the impact of what we might call "everyday trauma" all the time. The child who was consistently criticized. The teenager who felt unsafe expressing emotions at home. The adult who learned early that their needs didn't matter.
Trauma isn't defined by what happened to you. It's defined by what happened inside you as a result of what happened to you.
What Trauma Actually Is
Dr. Gabor Maté defines trauma as "not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you." This shifts our understanding from focusing on the event itself to focusing on its impact on your nervous system and sense of self.
Trauma occurs when we experience something that overwhelms our capacity to cope. This could be a single overwhelming event, or it could be repeated experiences that slowly erode our sense of safety and worth.
Trauma can result from:
Single-Incident Trauma
- • Accidents or injuries
- • Medical procedures
- • Natural disasters
- • Violence or assault
- • Sudden loss
Developmental Trauma
- • Emotional neglect
- • Inconsistent caregiving
- • Criticism or shaming
- • Family addiction or mental illness
- • Feeling unsafe to express emotions
How Trauma Lives in Your Body
One of the most important things to understand about trauma is that it's not just a mental health issue. It's a whole-body experience that affects your nervous system, your relationships, and how you move through the world.
As trauma specialist Dr. Bessel van der Kolk writes in "The Body Keeps the Score," trauma is not just stored in our minds. It lives in our bodies, in our muscles, our breathing patterns, our nervous system responses.
Common Signs Trauma May Be Affecting You
Physical Signs
- • Chronic tension or pain
- • Sleep difficulties
- • Digestive issues
- • Startling easily
- • Feeling "on edge"
- • Fatigue or exhaustion
Emotional Signs
- • Feeling numb or disconnected
- • Intense emotional reactions
- • Difficulty trusting others
- • Shame or self-criticism
- • Feeling unsafe in your body
- • Fear of abandonment
Behavioral Signs
- • Avoiding certain situations
- • Difficulty with boundaries
- • People-pleasing
- • Hypervigilance
- • Difficulty concentrating
- • Self-medicating behaviors
It's important to note that these symptoms are normal responses to abnormal situations. Your nervous system adapted these responses to help you survive difficult circumstances.
When Past Experiences Shape Present Reality
Perhaps the most challenging aspect of trauma is how it can make past experiences feel present. Your nervous system, trying to protect you, stays alert for similar threats. This can mean that situations in your current life trigger responses that made sense in the past but may not fit your present circumstances.
Real-life example:
"I grew up in a house where raising your voice meant someone was about to get hurt. Now, when my partner speaks loudly during an argument, my body goes into full panic mode, even though I know intellectually that I'm safe. My heart pounds, I can't think clearly, and I either shut down or want to run."
This is a trauma response. Her nervous system learned early that loud voices meant danger, and it's still trying to protect her, even in a safe relationship.
The Nervous System and Trauma Responses
Understanding your nervous system is key to understanding trauma. When we feel threatened, our nervous system activates one of several responses:
Fight Response
Anger, irritability, arguments, need to control
Flight Response
Anxiety, restlessness, avoiding situations, feeling trapped
Freeze Response
Feeling stuck, inability to make decisions, disconnection
Fawn Response
People-pleasing, difficulty saying no, abandoning your needs
These responses were adaptive when you were in actual danger. The challenge is when they continue to activate in situations that are actually safe.
The Path to Healing: Working with Your Nervous System
Trauma healing isn't about "getting over it" or "thinking positive thoughts." It's about helping your nervous system learn that you're safe now. It's about developing new pathways that allow you to respond from your present circumstances rather than your past experiences.
Healing happens through:
🧠 Nervous System Regulation
Learning tools to help your body return to safety when triggered. The AERO Method is particularly effective for this.
→ Learn the AERO Method🤝 Safe Relationships
Experiencing healthy, safe connections that help rewire your nervous system's expectations about relationships.
🏠 Body-Based Healing
Since trauma lives in the body, healing happens through body-based approaches like somatic therapy, breathwork, and movement.
💭 Processing and Integration
Working with a therapist to process experiences and integrate new understanding into your sense of self.
Why Professional Support Matters
While there are many things you can do on your own to support trauma healing, working with a trained professional is often essential. Trauma can be complex, and sometimes our attempts to heal on our own can inadvertently re-traumatize us.
A trauma-informed therapist can provide the safety and guidance needed to process difficult experiences without becoming overwhelmed. They can help you develop regulation skills and create new neural pathways in a supported environment.
A Note of Hope
If you recognize yourself in this article, I want you to know something important: healing is possible. Your nervous system's responses made sense given what you experienced. They helped you survive.
And now, with the right support and tools, you can help your nervous system learn new ways of being. You can develop the capacity to respond to your present life rather than being controlled by your past experiences.
This is the beautiful truth about neuroplasticity: your brain can create new pathways at any age. The patterns that developed to help you survive can be transformed into patterns that help you thrive.
Recovery isn't about erasing the past. It's about integrating your experiences in a way that allows you to live fully in the present. It's about reclaiming your life and your right to feel safe in your own body.
Begin Your Healing Journey
Ready to understand your nervous system? Start with the AERO Method, a comprehensive framework for emotional regulation that can help you work with trauma responses.
Want professional support? Trauma-informed therapy provides the safety and guidance needed for deep healing and integration.
Ashley Jangro, LPCC
Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate specializing in trauma-informed therapy and nervous system healing. Based in Castle Rock, Colorado, Ashley helps individuals understand and heal from the effects of trauma using evidence-based approaches and compassionate support.