Ashley Jangro, LPCC • 5 min read • Women's Issues
You wake up one morning and realize the life you've been living doesn't quite fit anymore. Maybe it's the career that once excited you but now feels constraining. Maybe it's becoming a mother and losing track of who you were before. Or maybe it's looking around at your life and asking, "Is this really it?"
Life transitions are challenging for everyone, but women often face unique pressures. We're expected to seamlessly juggle career advancement and family responsibilities, to be nurturing caregivers and ambitious professionals, to support everyone else's dreams while somehow pursuing our own.
As a therapist who specializes in working with women, I see this struggle daily. The good news? Transitions, while difficult, are also opportunities for growth, realignment, and creating a life that truly fits who you're becoming.
Why Transitions Hit Women Differently
Women's life transitions are often more complex because we're typically managing multiple identities simultaneously. You're not just changing careers; you're doing it while being a partner, mother, daughter, and friend. You're not just becoming a mother; you're integrating this new identity while maintaining your professional self and relationship dynamics.
Add to this the societal messages we've internalized about what we "should" be doing, and transitions can trigger intense self-doubt, guilt, and overwhelm.
Common Challenges Women Face During Transitions:
🎭 Identity Confusion
- • "Who am I outside of my roles?"
- • Feeling like you've lost yourself
- • Not recognizing the person in the mirror
- • Questioning your values and priorities
⚖️ Competing Priorities
- • Career vs. family demands
- • Personal fulfillment vs. others' needs
- • Financial security vs. following passion
- • Self-care vs. caregiving responsibilities
😔 Guilt and Self-Doubt
- • "Am I being selfish?"
- • Imposter syndrome in new roles
- • Fear of making the "wrong" choice
- • Comparing yourself to other women
🏃♀️ Lack of Support
- • Feeling isolated in your experience
- • Partners who don't understand
- • Limited time for self-reflection
- • Society's mixed messages about success
Common Life Transitions Women Navigate
While every woman's experience is unique, there are certain transition points that many women encounter. Recognizing these can help normalize your experience and provide a framework for understanding what you're going through.
💼Career Transitions
The Quarter-Life Career Crisis
You're established in your career but realize it's not fulfilling you. Maybe you chose this path to please others, or you've simply outgrown it.
Common feelings: "Is this all there is?" and "But I'm supposed to be grateful."
The Motherhood Career Shift
Becoming a mother often triggers a complete reevaluation of career priorities. The pre-baby plan suddenly doesn't fit.
Common feelings: Guilt about wanting to work vs. guilt about wanting to stay home.
The Midlife Reinvention
After years of focusing on others, you realize you want to pursue something that's truly yours. But starting over feels terrifying.
Common feelings: "It's too late" mixed with "I can't keep living like this."
👨👩👧👦Family and Relationship Transitions
Becoming a Mother
Nothing prepares you for how completely motherhood changes your identity, priorities, and sense of self.
The transition: From independent woman to responsible for another human being.
Empty Nest Syndrome
When your primary identity has been "mom," children leaving can trigger an identity crisis.
The question: "Who am I when I'm not actively parenting?"
Relationship Changes
Marriage, divorce, or significant relationship changes all require renegotiating your identity and life structure.
The challenge: Maintaining your sense of self within changing relationship dynamics.
Strategies for Navigating Transitions Successfully
While transitions can feel chaotic and overwhelming, there are strategies that can help you move through them with more ease and self-compassion.
1. Honor the Grief in Transition
Every transition involves loss, even positive changes. Acknowledge what you're leaving behind and allow yourself to grieve.
What to grieve:
- • The person you used to be
- • The dreams that no longer fit
- • The certainty of your old life
- • The roles that gave you identity
Remember: Grieving what was doesn't mean you're ungrateful for what's coming. It's a necessary part of making space for your new life.
2. Separate Your Identity from Your Roles
You are not just a mother, wife, or professional. You're a complete person who happens to fill these roles.
Identity exploration questions:
- • What brought me joy before I took on this role?
- • What are my core values, separate from what others expect?
- • What would I pursue if no one else's opinion mattered?
- • What parts of me have I put on hold?
Practice: Spend time doing something just for you, not because it benefits anyone else or because you're "supposed to" enjoy it.
3. Start with Small Experiments
You don't have to overhaul your entire life at once. Small experiments can provide valuable information about what you want.
Experiment ideas:
- • Take a class in something that interests you
- • Volunteer in a field you're curious about
- • Join a group related to a potential new interest
- • Have informational interviews with people in careers that intrigue you
- • Start a small creative project
Key: Approach these as experiments, not commitments. You're gathering data about what energizes and fulfills you.
Managing the Emotional Challenges of Transition
Transitions bring up intense emotions, and it's important to have tools for managing the anxiety, overwhelm, and self-doubt that often accompany change.
Using the AERO Method During Transitions:
🎯 Awareness
Notice the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations that come up during your transition. Anxiety about the future? Grief about what you're leaving? Excitement mixed with terror?
🌊 Emotional Regulation
Use breathing techniques, movement, and grounding exercises to manage intense emotions. Transitions are emotionally overwhelming; regulation skills are essential.
🔄 Reframing
Challenge thoughts like "I'm too old to start over" or "Good mothers don't prioritize their careers." What would you tell a friend in your situation?
💪 Ownership
Take one small action aligned with your values and the person you're becoming, even if you don't have the whole path figured out.
Learn more about the complete AERO Method for comprehensive emotional regulation during challenging times.
Building Your Support System
Transitions can feel isolating, especially when the people in your life don't understand your changes. Building the right support system is crucial.
Professional Support
- • Therapist: For processing emotions and developing coping strategies
- • Career counselor: For exploring career transitions
- • Life coach: For goal-setting and accountability
- • Financial advisor: For making practical transition plans
Personal Support
- • Other women in transition: Join support groups or online communities
- • Mentors: Women who've made similar transitions
- • Friends who get it: People who support your growth
- • Family members: Those who love you regardless of your choices
Creating Your Transition Plan
While you can't control every aspect of transition, having a loose plan can provide structure and reduce anxiety about the unknown.
Your transition planning checklist:
Embracing the Messy Middle
Here's what I wish someone had told me during my own major life transitions: the middle is messy, and that's normal. You'll have days when you're excited about your new direction and days when you want to crawl back to your old life. Both are part of the process.
Transition isn't a straight line from old life to new life. It's a spiral, where you'll revisit the same questions and doubts multiple times before finding clarity.
Give yourself permission to not have it all figured out. Growth happens in the uncertainty, in the willingness to take the next step even when you can't see the whole staircase.
Your Future Self Is Waiting
The woman you're becoming through this transition process is wiser, more authentic, and more aligned with her true self than the woman you were before. This journey, as difficult as it is, is creating the life that's truly yours.
Trust yourself. Trust the process. And remember that seeking support during major life transitions isn't a sign of weakness - it's a sign of wisdom.
Support for Your Life Transition
Feeling stuck in transition? Therapy can provide the clarity, tools, and support you need to navigate change with confidence and self-compassion.
Ready for practical strategies? Learn the AERO Method for managing the emotional challenges that come with major life changes.
Ashley Jangro, LPCC
Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate specializing in women's mental health and life transitions. Based in Castle Rock, Colorado, Ashley helps women navigate career changes, identity shifts, and the complex challenges of modern womanhood with practical tools and compassionate support.